Friday, February 5, 2016

Milk, everywhere.

Mike mentioned to me that his customer told him that his wife absolutely LOVES breastfeeding.

I wish that I could say the same for myself but as for now, breastfeeding is literally sucking the life out of me.

Perhaps, it could be because I have not mastered the 'lying down' latch so I get dead tired and exhausted breastfeeding while sitting up while the baby is propped on my bolster in front of me.

On average, assuming that the baby feeds every 3 hours, with a total of 7-8 feeds a day, I really cannot imagine what mothers who direct latch all the way go through. I personally am unable to do that - or perhaps, I just don't want to because I might go crazy with the sleepless nights.

My milk kicked in about 5 days after delivery but milk production was slow (it was also still very, very diluted) and was not enough for the baby during each feed. So whenever the milk is emptied out, the baby would start crying and I'd pass her to the confinement lady for a formula feed top up.

I still tried my best to let the baby latch every 4 hours or so but because the latching sessions were relatively short, it was still manageable for me in the earlier weeks.

When my supply was insufficient, I was reading up on "milk boosters" on TBAN and was also feeling a little down at the same time - I was wondering how is it that so many mothers seem to be able to produce SO MUCH milk and how their freezers could be filled to the brim with milk!

I remember telling Mike that I was being ambitious buying storage bottles and bags when I didn't have the opportunity to use it...but then I spoke too soon.

Sorry, just had to take a picture of the first few storage bags that I managed to fill. TEE HEE.

One fine day, I woke up and my boobs were hard and that was the beginning of another issue - from desperately collecting drops of milk in a cup from leaking boobs, my milk supply turned into an 'oasis' (comparing it to my initial yield).

I tried power pumping and that was probably how my supply went up (...but it's not as much as what I've seen on TBAN).

From half an ounce of milk from both breasts (which would take me almost an hour to pump), it increased to about 2-3 ounces from both and slowly, it just started increasing steadily - but of course, the "yield" varies throughout the different time of the day and also depending on what I ate that day (it will increase even more when the confinement lady boils "milk booster" soups).

That week, I had alot of adjustments to do. One of it was having to wear a bra to sleep and bra to nurse. I tried not wearing it and trust me, it wasn't a good idea - to wake up soaking wet and smelling like milk or  while feeding the baby, the poor baby and also myself would be getting drenched from the other leaking boob.

My mattress, pillow and bolster would have milk all over it. The floor would have milk too. ARGH. Everything would smell like milk.

However, now that I have gotten the hang of managing things, it has gotten a whole lot better. I think that if my milk supply maintains as it is now, what I have would be just nice when the baby turns one month old.

Anyhow, even though I currently have more than enough milk for the baby, the reason why I don't direct latch the baby all the time is because the baby's feeding time is so sporadic and no longer on a 3 hour interval, as it was in the first week.

Sometimes, she can feed on and off for a total of 2 HOURS ! And that is just ONE feeding! And after the feeding, she will wake up in about one and a half hours for more milk -_-"

Imagine having to feed 7-8 feedings or even MORE . . . . . I'd be a slave to the baby !!! And I'd probably go cuckoo, seriously.

Right now, the feeding arrangement is most ideal for me where I feed her directly 3-4 times while the other times, she is bottle fed expressed breast milk.

Maybe when the confinement lady leaves and when the baby sleeps in the same room as me, I will attempt to direct latch once again so that I don't have to keep washing and sterilising milk bottles on top of my breast pump. LOL.

Another one and a half more weeks til my confinement lady leaves. NOOOOoooooo. A whole new set of challenges will begin for me. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Baby baby baby O.

I knew that I just HAD to take some nice pictures of Baby O when she is still a newborn because I know that I would regret it if I didn't. 

I asked my sister (as usual) to take pictures for us. I searched Pinterest for newborn photography pictures as my guide to pose. 

It took me a lot of effort to get ready that morning itself because I am too used to looking like a zombie daily.

Taking pictures was no easy feat - especially with a crying baby.
I could not figure out why she was crying every time I held her.
It was frustrating.

Was she hungry? Was she cold? Did she poop or pee?

However, whenever Mike carried her she would calm down.

Later on, we figured out that she was upset because of my dress!

She didn't like her skin touching my dress - she probably felt itchy/uncomfortable whenever her skin came in contact with the dress -_-"

Awwww. You poor poor thing.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Me time. . .

I know I've had plenty of ME TIME when I was pregnant
and I knew what to expect once the baby arrived -
my "ME TIME" is now scarce
just like "liquid gold" or that few drops of colostrum.

Clearly, I am losing my sanity.
Analogies are now all milk/boob/baby related.

I made a mental note to myself while I was pregnant
that I will not let my baby take over my life
and that I do not want to be a slave to my child. . .
however, with a newborn, I suppose that at this juncture,
I do not have much of a choice
but to be on standby for the baby 24/7.

Right now, my short bouts of sanity is when the confinement lady ("CL")
takes care of the baby in the nursery.

While she cooks or cleans the house, the baby is left with me in my room
and so much of my energy is exhausted in JUST feeding her.

I know that some mothers make breastfeeding look effortless,
but I personally find it really challenging (physically)
and also, stressful occasionally -
I get stressed when the baby starts choking or coughing because of the fast milk flow
and also, when I can't burp the baby properly -_-"

One of the reasons that makes it hard for me to burp the baby is because of the pain in my left wrist. It's so hard to hold or carry the baby because I really cannot lift her up properly.

I don't even change her diapers and I dread the day the CL leaves
because right now, I am managing to get more rest throughout the night
as she looks after the baby at night.

I really have to give it to mothers who exclusively breastfeed their baby.

I wanted to write a post on my "breastfeeding experience" but maybe I'll save it for later -
every time I feel like writing, something just pops up unexpectedly -like, the CL will knock on my door and say "Nen nen time" -_-"

On another note, it's already February! And as usual, the first quarter of this year is just going to whizz by with all the festivities in between.